Okay insurance company, I'll play your twisted game...

Thanks for all the suggestions and sympathy following my previous post about insurance woes. Here's the deal. Yes, we did have to change insurance companies when we moved. Health insurance is regulated by each state and many insurance companies are regional (even the "big names" -- they have local subcontractors). So by necessity DH's employer offers different insurance providers based on your location. Thus the plan we have now is very similar, but not identical, to our old one. Coincidentally, this weekend is DH's annual benefits enrollment, so we'll be renewing our plan (or picking a new one). I am almost positive that there is nothing offered with better IF coverage than we have now, but obviously we'll look into it. And I'll be doing happy dances all over this blog if the news is good. But don't count on it.

What really steams my vegetables is that the insurance company will pay for medication and lab work if you then go home and make a baby in your own bedroom. (Or wherever you choose to do the deed, I don't judge. Good for you for keeping it exciting.) But if instead I want to PAY FOR MY OWN IUI, they snap their wallet closed and shake their fat finger at me scoldingly. I mean, it's absolutely none of their business how I get myself knocked up after they give me the drugs. Next they'll be saying they want to watch, just to make sure there are no basters involved. Sickos.

I was feeling resigned to continue waiting... waiting... waiting... until something hit me while I was supervising Bean in the bathtub tonight. It was his plastic fishy ball, he loves to throw that darn thing. Then I had a thought. Would it be that bad to try Clomid again? I swore up and down I would not get near the stuff this time around. Two main reasons.

1. It didn't work for me. Eight times.

2. It turns me into a raving lunatic Queen Bitch.

But if what I really want/need isn't covered, and my ovulation is a mess these days, is there a reason NOT to try it again? Okay, sure, there is #2 above. During those five days of pills, I morphed into the meanest person I have ever met in my entire life. But to be fair, I haven't met all that many mean people. Seen them in television interviews from prison perhaps, but not actually met them.

The other good thing about Clomid is that I can (probably) get a prescription from my OB/GYN, so I don't have to go through an inconvenient and possibly expensive consultation with the new RE's office. I am due for my annual exam anyway.... (hmmmm....)

Now if I do decide to gulp down the evil drug, which I'm guessing would be more of an emotional boost than any real physical help at this point, there is still the issue of BFing to contend with. The only side effect that some women report is a reduced milk supply, which on the other hand many also report not experiencing. Although there isn't a definitive answer, most sources say that there is no reason to believe Clomid would harm the baby, but (of course) talk to your doctor first. Because hopefully your doc has more scientific and proven knowledge on the subject than you do, just reading random articles you find online. But probably not.

In a Hail Mary, I am also going to call the insurance company again tomorrow (when they are open... how DARE they go home to their families when I need ANSWERS NOW!) and see if they will cover Follistim without IUI. I would be surprised, because in three years of hanging around the IF crowd I have never heard of anyone using Follistim and NOT doing an IUI or IVF. But the insurance company is clearly illogical anyway, so who knows. "Gather your own information," my Dad likes to say. Right on, Dad.

So what do you think? Is taking Clomid now worth the risk of 1) my husband divorcing me, 2) my son growing girlie parts from the drug getting into my breastmilk, and 3) suffering more emotional pain from the rollercoaster of IF treatment that likely won't even work?

Or should I *gasp* be patient a while longer, save some dough in order to do the treatment that worked the first time, and allow the kiddo to wean first? (I'm almost pissed that you even suggested it.)