Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Sinking in and moving on

Life has been crazy in the past couple of weeks and it's hard to find a moment to blog! On top of that, my laptop has decided to be entirely uncooperative, I can't sneak hours moments online while Bean happily chucks his ball around the house. And with those excuses out of the way, a quick update.

The best news is that I haven't been spotting in at least a week now. Yippee! Of course there's still a drumroll in my head that accompanies every trip to the bathroom, which I'm guessing will continue throughout the duration of the pregnancy. But it adds that air of drama and anticipation to my day, so it's all good.

Despite the lack of spotting and the increased desire to hurl at every second, I am very nervous about my ultrasound later this week (which has been moved from Thursday to Friday, because again, needing drama and anticipation). I am mostly worried about Vanishing Twin Syndrome, which is when one of the twins... well, vanishes. Except it lacks the X-Files appeal that it may suggest. I am still freaking out about the prospect of double the newborn action, but I'm already attached to these two little blobs, and to only see one heartbeat on Friday -- let's just not talk about it.

I am slowly doing better as I process the likelihood that we will be a family of five in April. I no longer lay awake at night worrying, I manage to contain all of that to my waking hours. I am basically rewriting the future I see for our family. Because that's what we do all throughout infertility, right? Revising that timeline we so carefully crafted for our lives. First it starts on a small scale (from "I'll be pregnant by Christmas with the first of our eight kids" to "Well, maybe the first one by next Christmas") and then it gets bigger (to "I'll have two kids by 40, right?" then "FINE! ONE BY MENOPAUSE!"). In my case, of course, I am lucky to go in the opposite direction. Nevertheless, even though this is a huge blessing, I'm erasing and replacing how I pictured next year. And the year after, and the year after, and all the years until I have three adult children and I finally turn to DH and say, "Well, that wasn't so hard after all!" (Because I have a bad memory by then, of course.)

On the bright side, all of this worrying and processing has kept me from being bitter about the fact that I will never know what it's like to conceive a child without instructions to "don't forget to pay your outstanding balance on the way out." Or the fact that infertility has taken yet another thing from me -- the ability to grow my family one child at a time.


(Even if it's temporary)

And now for a question that has been weighing on my mind. Although I have no history of low progesterone, my doctor has me on these leaky lovely suppositories two times a day until I hit week 10. I am a mere 8 days from that milestone, and the thought of putting away the pill bottle makes my heart do little leaps of happiness in my chest. But I feel like weeks 10 and 11 are such a critical time, I'm nervous about stopping. I'm wondering: If you were on progesterone supplements following your IUI into a successful pregnancy, how long did your doctor have you take them?


  1. I had a friend who was a single mom, dating a guy...he lived in another STATE so they only met twice. The second time they met, she got pregnant...and later found out she was having twins. So she went from a single mom and he from a childless single dad to a family of five...overnight. They seem to be handling it well. He moved in with her and they look very happy in all their pics and the babies are adorable!

  2. I'm holding you in my thoughts until you're next u/s. I always started getting really nervous in the couple of days leading up to them, too. I'm glad you're starting to feel better about things.

    My doctor had me stop the progesterone at 8 or 10 weeks (funny that I've forgotten the exact number, I was certain I'd remember every little detail), too, and I was terribly stressed about stopping, too. I hated the suppositories, but was scared to quit. It did work out, though.

  3. I was told to take prog until week 12. I'm not taking any this time though.

    Very good point about how IF rewrites our timelines constantly, lol. I said that to Jack today, I said, "I've gone from three kids, to two, to now, I JUST WANT ONE PLEASE?!?!"

    Ah IF, so much fun it is.

  4. I took my progesterone until week 9. And that's with twins too!! Good luck with your ultrasound. I totally understand where you are coming from!


  5. Glad to see a post, I have been missing your updates.

    As uasual I have no idea about the technical stuff, however I do want to say week 10 - wow how did the time fly so fast?! Hopefully your hurling days will soon be behind you (does that happen at 12 weeks with twins too?).

    I know what you mean about rewriting your life 'plan', mine has changed a few times this year already and each time you just have to move things along the timeline a bit (or do a complete rewrite).

    Best of luck for friday.

  6. Yeah for no spotting!! I am glad your worry is calming down. Best Wishes for a great U/S.

  7. WOOOHOOO!!!! No bleeding is awesome! Sending you lots of good JUJU for your ultrasound.

  8. Wow, you have alot of commenters lately, you are getting to be a popular gal. Glad that things are settling and that the spotting is staying away. I did progesterone supps after my ivf, the doc said i could stop at 8 weeks b/c 2 babies meant twice as much progesterone in theory but b/c of my missed miscarriage at 10 weeks the first go around I kept taking them until after my 10 week u/s, figuring it couldn't hurt.

  9. So happy to hear the spotting has stopped and I can't wait to hear about the 2 beautiful heartbeats on Friday!

  10. I know, I think even better than being infertile and getting a stupid period every month and becoming bitter and getting the awesome $973 blood work bill in the mail. AWESOME.

  11. I'm anxiously awaiting good news on Friday! It's amazing that you are almost at 10 weeks already. The fact that the spotting has stopped is really good news because if it were something else, it would only increase (at least from my experience).

  12. Glad to know the spotting has ceased. Sending you love and hope for good things on Friday. You're a great person and you'll be great in your family of five.

  13. Oh hallelujah! No spotting!! And an ultrasound to boot! It sounds like things are heavenly in your neck of the woods right now (well as great as things can be when you want to hurl right?). I'm keeping you in my thoughts. I'm sure you're muy, muy busy but maybe we can get together one of these days... :)

  14. Hi! First of all, belated congrats on your pregnancy :)

    To answer your question about the progesterone supplements, in both of my pregnancies, my docs had me on them until the end of my first trimester. The reason being was that, by then, the placenta should be making all of the progesterone my body would need. I was nervous to stop it both times but all worked out okay (thankfully).

    Wishing you a healthy pregnancy and an end to the urge to hurl, sooner rather than later!

  15. So very glad to hear there is some acceptance creeping in (it took me a while, too!) and some peace. I cannot wait to hear about the U/S on Friday- hoping all goes very well! :)

    As for the progesterone, mine was after IVF but I was on the suppositories for 12 long, goopy weeks.

  16. for my first pregnancy (twins after fertinex and IUI) they pulled the plug (harhar) on the suppositories after ~ 10 weeks as well. Basically when I graduated to the OB. Good luck!!! :)

  17. I love how each newly recalculated milestone has a firm object fixed to it, whether it be age or event. I was in the get-pregnant-by-the start-of-the-semester zone. Did that, briefly. Now I'm down to have-a-baby-before-turning-35. I've got a few more months to accomplish it.

    As for prog, I was told to take them until 10 wks, but I was planning, just for my peace of mind, to wean off of them slowly. That way, your body won't register a sharp drop all at once.

  18. I did the suppositories until I hit week 11, but my OB felt that it was pretty unnecessary at that point and that "there's no evidence it does anything." My progesterone levels have always been fine, but I have a history of luteal phase defect, so I was glad to stay on them -- but VERY happy when I could finally get rid of them.

    I had two doses of progesterone hanging around, and before I stopped entirely I switched to the lower dose to wean myself. I had planned to use up the rest of what I had (maybe 1.5 weeks longer) past 11 weeks but was so tired of them that I didn't bother.

    Good luck!

  19. The clinical studies I've read don't find a benefit to staying on P4 after week 7 or 8 for IVF, and I can't imagine IUI would demand longer than IVF. Most clinics do seem to keep us on it longer than the 7-8 week mark and I totally "get" the nerves about going off ... I'm pretty sure I stayed on it longer than I was supposed to (it's a pretty low-risk product) precisely because of that, but I don't think there's any evidence to suggest that doing so is beneficial. Er, can you parse that comment? No need to do so but I did anyway?

  20. SO glad the spotting has stopped. Whew!

    Sorry, I've no words of wisdom to offer on Progesterone.


  21. My doc had me take the supps until week 12. I had enough in the prescription to last me until week 13.. I tapered off. My understanding was that if you stop suddenly, sometimes the drop in progesterone can cause some spotting- the level is still fine, so it's okay, but I was already spotting and didn't need more cause for panic.


A penny for your thoughts...