Tuesday, April 14, 2009

You might be an Infertile if...

... you have been to the dollar store buying home pregnancy tests so often that you have to bite back the urge to say something to the clearly disinterested clerk like, "I work with at-risk teens" or "If only you sold the tests so I could figure out who the fathers are!"

... you choose which check-out line in the grocery store not for the shortest length but for the lack of pregnant bellies and babies.

... you have hidden in the bathroom when a coworker brings in her newborn during her maternity leave.

... you know the difference between "transferring" embryos and "implanting" embryos, and it annoys you to no end when the media gets it wrong. (And they always do.)

... your friends have had multiple children in the time you have been trying to conceive one.

... sex no longer figures into your TTC plan.

... the baby clothes you naively purchased in eager anticipation when you went off birth control have since gone out of style.

... you have considered quitting your job, going on welfare, and getting addicted to crack, because those women never seem to have trouble getting pregnant.

... if asked, you could provide your basal body temperature for any of the past 365 days. (With corresponding chart, of course.)

... if you do get pregnant using your own gametes and deliver a real live baby, you and DH quickly scan your newborn to find physical traits of both of you. You know, just to make sure the doc grabbed the right tube.


  1. I know every single one of those except the last. So sad but so TRUE!

  2. The last one made me laugh. I joke with my husband about that all the time.

  3. aside from the dollar store thing (i prefer to spare myself the embarrasment and buyonline) i have done every single thing on that list!! i especially laughed at the last one, its the first thing we did when the twinnies were born!!

  4. Sadly they are all so very true.

    I've especially gotten odd looks at the dollar store when buying a couple dozen OPKs. Explaining that I have an unreasonably long follicular phase just doesn't help much.

  5. They sell hpts at the dollar store??!!

    Great list, and the last is so, so true. I still breathe a sigh of relief every time another one of our traits reveals itself.

  6. the last one is something I have thought of before. SCARY


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